COVID Homeschooling at the Dershins

Never, in a million years, could I have predicted we would be in this predicament. Not just the global pandemic part - but the homeschooling my kids part!!! Cause let me just state for the record: There is a reason I am not a stay-at-home-mom - I am not cut out for it!

When it was announced schools were closing, I turned to my eldest and said “Well, it looks like next week you’ll be getting a new teacher . . . me!” He took a moment to reflect and said, “Mom, I don’t think you’re going to be very good at that.” See, even my kids know the truth. :) Lols

That being said, it has taken us a few weeks to find our rhythm, and figure out what works for our family unit. We are giving zero f@#!s to following any type of recommended or required anything. We are doing what is working FOR US!! I have no clue if me sharing this will be helpful to you or not, but I thought I would give it a try. Maybe it will give you a few ideas, maybe not. As long as you promise to also give zero f@#!s if you are doing things right or not - and just do what works for YOUR FAMILY.

When we realized school would not be back in session, we first went through a period of denial. We decided to just extend Spring Break. We were in no rush. My kids were living their best life - playing, spending time at home with their family . . . it was awesome (for them!).

Meanwhile, I was just trying to keep my head above water. My husband and I had to make the tough call to lay-off half our staff and start hustling to make product and do deliveries ourselves in order to keep costs as low as possible. We closed our store front, moved everything online, lost a lot of key retail accounts, and scrambled to figure out how to keep our company afloat. Good Life is our family’s lively hood, and the lively hood of many of our staff. Homeschooling had to wait . . . First priority was Good Life.

Next, after putting aside my self care to just figure this shit out, I had to make my second priority getting my health back on track. I started getting up at 5AM so I could have my coffee in quiet, exercise and meditate before I greeted my children for the day and took on the day . . . Once I spent a few days layering on the self care extra thick, it was time to tackle home schooling.

And yes, I realize that makes me sound like the high priestess of health, but guess what?! I. Don’t. Care. How it sounds! I have to layer that self care shit on so friggin’ thick it’s ridiculous - cause that’s what I need to stay healthy - mentally, physically, and spiritually. And if you are new to meeting me then, hello! I am really into health! (And dropping f bombs during pandemics apparently)

After a few weeks of trial and error, we figured out a loose system that is working well for a family like ours, that has 2 kids who like school and like to stay busy, and 2 parents that both need to be working. I work 8AM-3PM and my husband works 3PM-8PM at the company. OR one of us works a long day and the other has it off. Thankfully weekends we can both be off.

Our Goal:

Home school 4 days a week

The reality has been 3 on average

A Plan + Some Points

And the flexibility to be ok with the outcome

Although we have a great plan and wonderful intentions each week, we just have to be ok with tossing them out the window when we need to. Last night I said to my hubby that my word for April is pivot. I am constantly needing to change our approach. There just isn’t room to get stuck too long on something that isn’t serving us - as a family, as a business or on a personal level.

We learned pretty quick Gabe is more suited to be the “teacher” than me, but we also learned that if Gabe doesn’t have a list outlining what should get done - then pretty much nothing gets done. SO! Each morning before I leave for work I send him a text, like you can see in the pic above. On the 3rd week Gabe had the brilliant idea to print it out, like in the image on the right and assign points to the tasks. These points are totally arbitrary! But keeping score and keeping track, is something that motivates my children, so it somehow encourages them to get the task done, and check it off the list.

Our Approach

Balance out a basic amount of school work

with learning new life skills, more chores, and more exercise

The structure to the day is loose - Gabe is often by their side, but sometimes doing home renos, working out, or puttsing around the house or yard. Sometimes they need guidance, sometimes they are self reliant and work through the list on their own. As long as they have been keeping busy, whether it is school work, music, art, playing lego, making forts, jumping on the trampoline - whatever it is - busy boys make for happy boys at my house.

Our Biggest Takeaways so Far

The best part of homeschooling is their increased contribution to the family household. The life skills they are learning will serve them more than the school work they are missing. Of course, they don’t love it every time I ask them to spiralize a zucchini, or vacuum their room, but it comes with a lot less complaining than it used to - and a lot of the time they seem more than happy to contribute.

Last night Leroy, my 7 year old just came up to me and said:

“Mom . . . I have never said this before, and, like, um, I don’t know why I am saying it, but, um, like, I think I kind of like doing chores. Like vacuuming is fun, except for the loudness. I like having a clean room. I like making eggs. I feel proud of myself.”

The kids feel good when they are productive. Contributing to the family is bringing them pride.

And then, to balance things out, this morning Jax started crying and said: “I feel like you are forcing me to cook breakfast when you know I am the worst chef in the house. . . . and I wish you would just go back to making me breakfast.”

And that sums up this whole crazy, challenging time!

One day I’m up - I’m feeling good - the next day I want to cry cause I’m not getting the help I feel I need. But we keep on keepin on - keeping on finding ways to give back, to find the light, to share the love and to make the best out of a situation we have little control over.

To all you parents out there who are struggling through this . . .from one parent to another. It’s ok. What is best for your family (today) can only be determined by you. You are dealing with a global pandemic. What matters is you are safe - that you are making them feel safe, and making them feel loved. Anything (like homeschool) causing you and your family stress should no longer be given any more f@#!s.

XO, Founder Andrea Dershin